Life in Kyoto | 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Life in Kyoto | 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

• 5.01.2019

11th+ 12th month update

This entry is a special edition because it's the start of a new era in Japan, we bid goodbye to peaceful Heisei era and welcome Reiwa with open arms hoping it to be as peaceful and prosperous as the era before it.

Also it's me trying to take a shortcut in updating 2 entries at once lol gotta be resourceful with time yo lol

It also marks exactly 1 year of me living in Japan and I barely felt it at all because I was too busy with mom life. Like seriously, half my stay here was taking care of lil penguin who just turned 7 months. After a year has anything change for me in regards of my love to Japan?

I guess I can answer 50/50 because nothing is ever perfect in all honesty. Flaws will slowly reveal itself with time.

Also this is probably my last monthly entry about my life in Japan unless I find something interesting to update about in my normal mundane routine, I understand that it gets rather stale after a year so I'll close this chapter and focus updating on lil penguin's growth. Thank you all for the emotional support you have given me throughout the past 1 year as I took a leap of faith into the unknown, I think I'm ready to continue walking this part of the journey alone now, it's not the end for sure.

Tons of things did happened over the past 2 months, and I felt abit overwhelmed by it at some point so I decided to filter through to see whether it's necessary for me to share everything online anymore. Omg somehow sounding like I grew up from a phase in life or something lol, level up liao. But really la, everything I shared on my insta stories already so posting here feels as if I'm repeating myself, unless I delete my Instagram account then you guys no choice but to wait for my monthly blog updates haha. Seriously thought of doing that at one point but we'll see how. No joke though, I'm really considering it.

Longest Sakura Season

Not sure what's up this year as it's the longest Spring in God knows how long, which is a huge deal for everyone because we all know that sakura blossoms takes an average of 1 week to reach its peak before lasting another 1 week until it the flowers all drop. The weather has been unusually cold and wonky like one moment it was warm enough for the Sakura to start popping out and the next day it feels like winter all over again so we gotta bundle up ourselves, it's like we never really kept away our winter coats and wind breakers lol. Don't trust those fake instagrammers in thin "spring clothing' posing with sakura because in reality it's FREAKING COLD.

Well at least the cold weather conditions kept the Sakura blossoms intact and slowed down the withering process, for that thank you wonky cold weather. Let's hope spring will be a month long from now on :)

I've always wanted to experience a hanami (flower viewing) picnic especially as a family since it would be lil penguin's first and glad we took advantage of the long spring by scouting around for good spots! Never knew Kyoto has so many hidden gems especially around the outskirts where there is lesser people, even after a year here, Kyoto never fails to surprise me.

Though in spring the weather can be rather unpredictable, some days are good and clear while spring showers & strong winds can go on for days in a row causing the poor Sakura to wither much quicker than anticipated, they are indeed a delicate bunch. There are some ways to experience hanami picnic at home as well which would be a great idea especially if your kids are really looking forward to the picnic but was cut short with a downpour. All you need is some Daiso sakura themed decorations and picnic items like paper plates, homemade bento and you are ready for your hanami!

Postpartum depression

Can't believe I'm finally saying it as it is getting more and more real as the months go by, it doesn't get any easier in fact, post partum depression doesn't show up immediately after giving birth, the irritability and blues is a totally different feeling compared to PPD and it usually at its peak during 3-6 months after delivering. Some days feels so heavy like you don't want to deal with anything but just stay in bed feeling angry at every single thing.

The amount of things that goes through your mind is unimaginable, it's not that you really hate your current life..it's just that you need a break from all of it. A quiet time alone without a baby wailing, for a day focus on yourself before getting back to your mom duties. When you notice these strong disturbing emotions creeping in, it's a signal for you to put everything down and unwind. During this period it's very important to have an understanding partner because it's not that we wanted to get PPD, it's not a choice and some moms get it mild while some of us gets hit full blown.

I know I have not been myself lately as everyday I'm struggling to get by as best as I could, and to describe my current condition, it feels as if i am hanging by a thin thread. The thought of that the thread snapping anytime if I'm not careful enough is scary and it constantly ends with anxiety attacks. It really sucks when your own partner doesn't understand what you are going through like my situation (not sure how to even explain this in Japanese), so I'm left with no solution but to suck it up till the end, definitely feels like i'm alone in this battle.

Word of advise for guys out there, you aren't the one who has the dilate 10cm, push, breastfeed, be the primary caretaker of the baby, go through a whole whirlpool of hormone changes so the least you can do is cut mom some slack when they are going through PPD, not be an a** and assume we hate our own children and current life that we want to abandon it. Push us to the edge then maybe we might just do that.

The Funeral

Earlier this month our neighbor's mother passed away, someone we never knew but was residing in the same home and they themselves are an elderly couple about late 70s, making the bedridden mother at least almost a century old. The whole neighborhood was invited to the Tsuya (wake service) so we went to pay our respects even though we don't know the deceased person. In Malaysia we usually only attend Funerals of friends and family members, we don't usually invite people that has no connection to the deceased like even our own neighbors just pass on their condolences when they see us but they don't attend the funeral. Here in Japan it's slightly different, their housing community is considered like an extended family to them.

We greeted our neighbor once before when i first moved here, if you remembered me sharing about "Aisatsumawari"

It got me thinking about why Japanese still practice a close knit community. Most of these people here are long past their prime age and high chances of their friends and family members have gone long before them, so what's left to support them is the neighborhood community they live and grew in. Who else left to mourn and remember you when you have passed right?

Seeing our neighbor's grateful face when we came to pay our respects shows that it means alot to him.

The funeral was small, less than 20 people showed up, most of them are likely friends of the son but none of the mother's as someone her age probably all of her friends and siblings have passed on before her and she was patiently waiting for her time to come so she could join them again.

This hit me really hard because as a person in a foreign land, if I were to go before my time who will mourn me aside from my husband and 2-3 friends in Japan, lil penguin probably wouldn't understand the concept of death yet.

Sounds rather depressing doesn't it?

Sorry if it was somewhat of a heavy topic especially for a new era post which was supposed to be "hopeful", to make up for it please so continue reading the next paragraph.

Conversations with The Danna

We still do occasionally have our weekly family trip out whenever the danna is free, so happened we were at Gosho, Kyoto Imperial Palace since it was opened up to the public for a special viewing week and i seriously didn't know it was that near to our house lol and i've never visited it before this. See? I'm morphing into a local Kyoto person liao, all the usual tourists sites i won't even visit unless someone drags me over lol. 

Scenario 1: At Kyoto Imperial Palace

Tons of elderly visitors in a group formation slowly walking into the palace grounds

Me: Quite alot of elderly visitors today

The Danna: They walk so slowly and in groups that it reminds me of the walking dead zombies.

Me: Not sure to laugh or to scold you for being so mean because it does look like it. 

Scenario 2:  Lil Penguin

The Danna: Our daughter used to look like an eggplant, now she transformed into a pinapple, i wonder what food she will transform into next?

Me: You hungry is it?? Keep on thinking our daughter looks like food!

Scenario 3: Out of Focus

We tried taking photos under a sakura tree and i couldn't seem to focus on the danna's face, the camera kept focusing on the flowers instead.

Me: Probably it's because you are wearing brown so the camera thinks you are the tree trunk and not worth focusing on. 

The Danna: Lol...

Hope this lightens up the post abit, if you don't find it funny then i'm probably the lamest person on earth because i'm laughing my ass off just remembering these scenarios lol.

Happy Reiwa era everybody!

Yours Truly,