10 Things I've learned after moving to Japan

10 Things I've learned after moving to Japan

• 5.26.2020

Can't believe it's already my 2nd Japanniversary and 2nd Marriage anniversary as well! How time just flew by just like that and i wasn't exactly counting the days either because being a mom is busy enough that everything else becomes secondary. I particularly remember the month (May) i moved to Japan because it was like one of the biggest life changing and scariest decision i've made and coincidentally it concides with Aoi Matsuri; one of Kyoto's biggest & oldest festivals but unfortunately this year's procession has been cancelled due to COVID-19, so is Gion Matsuri by the way.

2 years of living away from home, does make me homesick on some days but according to my Malaysian mama friends in Japan, it gets better after the 3rd year (more like boh bian, immune liao lol). I told myself that i would make an effort to go back and visit my parents at least twice a year but that has been proven fianicially challenging (Japan to KL tickets are way more expensive than flying to Japan from KL, apa kebodohan ini?*) So going back at least once a year is our current arrangement and then this year we are slapped in the face with an outbreak so no one knows when we are able to fly again now.

*translation: what stupidity is this 

I know I've stopped updating my monthly life in Japan after the 1st year as i was tired and feeling burnt out and am thinking to pick up where i left off until i realised that it will be like reading a book with 12 chapters missing LOL. Such a sudden jump. If i bought a book with such missing pages i would definitely rage and demand a refund of my precious invest time following the series haha, macam Game of Thrones finale guys. So i "might" backtrack abit to connect the dots but no promises because my memory is seriously failing me quite badly (it's more than a severe case of mom brain). 

There are days i find it hard to even construct a single sentence (writing or speaking), and i do hope it's nothing serious except a brain having a ERROR404 moment. 

This year has been a tough start for everyone, we are struggling in our own ways (emotionally, physically, financially, etc) and most of us are stuck at home while our frontliners and essential workers are keeping things in check. So for those of you at home and bored out of your wits, here is something to keep you entertained lol. Over the past year since i've moved to Japan, I've been getting constant messages from eager Japan lovers, asking what is it like living here; the place of their dreams.

Sorry to be outright and to burst your unicorn dream bubbles, unfortunately i was once just like you all, an eager doe eyed and oblivious Japan lover myself before i moved here until i realised how much i had things better back at home (that's usually the case, ain't it lol). After trying so hard to understand their way of life and systems, while being a rational person at the same time; i've concluded Japan is not exactly for everyone.

Some might beg to differ and to each their own, It's not about being unable to see the glass half empty or half full because whichever way you look at it, nothing changes the fact that my experiences in Japan are as a local, not a tourist.

I'm not here to fight either because i'm just sharing based on my own personal experiences; if you had it good so far then let me clap for you or else bugger off, don't come raining on my parade ya :)
The internet is already filled with many entries of people singing high praises about Japan, so if you think this is just another one to feed your expectations about this country then you are sorely mistaken. Posting this entry alone carries a huge risk on my name but then again i pride myself on being an honest writer, what's the point if i only write sugar coated words just to please everyone. Might as well just start copy and pasting press releases to save myself the trouble from using so much brain

1. Mental Health Care is non existent 

For those of you who have been following me for years would know at some point i suffered from a  series of mental illnesses which i've openly shared about and till this day i'm actually still struggling with it. This was before post partum depression by the way and most mothers with history of major depression often develop PPD after giving birth, and i wasn't spared of it.
Those with any form of depression know it's not easy to function on a normal basis, we have high and low days, more often the latter and it isn't by choice either. Often we are just told to pop a pill and get on with life like normal, i've been on high dosages of medication from 2012-2016 and stopped when i was pregnant with my first baby. Fastforward today after a year of deliverying my 2nd child, these inner demons which i thought i have kept locked up in a chest started emerging again resulting me to seek professional help. And as expected, it has definitely something to do with their overall mentality here. I've often heard of how this is considered a taboo subject in Japan even till today while the rest of the world has became more accepting towards it but never did i expect someone certified to also brush the matter off like a fly on a wall.

I asked to be arrange for a session to meet with a shrink, but was denied every single time and just offered medication to numb my thoughts, this has been going on for a couple of months last year and i wasn't exactly happy with it. Why do these people (including the danna) think that depression can be easily cured with medication? I tried to educate the danna on this topic but he as a person who had an overall happy go lucky life, never once had to suffer couldn't understand why people are depressed and what's it like to be trap in your own mind. So he assumed it's like every other sickness, a cough or flu that could be treated with a course of antibiotics. I grew tired explaining that i decided to shut him out completely, he tried to be "helpful" but his ignorance was too much to bear because every word that came out of his mouth was pretty much inconsiderate & hurtful.

My psychiatrist only kept asking me the same thing every week, "how's the medication dosage?"
"And you should feel better because of the meds right?", "maybe can stop soon?"

To read more of this post, head over to KO-FI : 

https://ko-fi.com/post/10-Things-Ive-learned-after-moving-to-Japan

Yours Truly,